Matteo Bao's Baptism - the Ceremony

Matteo was baptized at the same church at the same baptismal urn as I was and he wore the same gown that I wore at my ceremony. This gown was also worn by two of my sisters, (also baptized in the same church) and two of my nieces and one nephew.

Matteo Bao's Baptism - the Cakes

These cakes were designed and made by a colleague and friend who is a family studies teacher and cooks/bakes on the side....they were beautiful and original and so special for Matteo's special day. I asked her to put the following on each cake.

Chúa phù hộ cho bạn
Dio ti benedica
God Bless you
Matteo Bao

Matteo Bao's Baptism - Bomboniere

These were the Bomboniere I gave out at Matteo's baptism. It is an Italian tradition to give out these favours to guests as a remembrance of the child's baptism. I designed them and then with the godparents we got together to make them...The Candles were made in Canada, the dragonflies in Vietnam and the Almond confetti were Italian....I added to the little note attached, information about the dragonfly and the TDH dragonfly campaign as well as adding how baptism was also a new spiritual beginning as are the dragonflies symbolically.

Matteo and Zeke - first friends

Family day...Memories

Matteo and I spent our first family day together....we did not do anything out of the ordinary other than spend the day together and then take a long walk...though it was very cold, Matteo managed to fall asleep in the carriage. I enjoyed just being together and on our walk I found myself thinking back to the moment where at least for me I felt I bonded with Matteo. Of course bonding is ongoing; however for me there was a pivotal moment when I absolutely felt I was Matteo's mother. My social worker always said bonding is like velcro, both sides have to have a certain something to be able to bond...it isn't all the work of the parent nor all the work of the child but very important for both sides to be involved. Anyhow I found myself thinking of that moment and wanted to make sure to record it here so that one day Matteo will know the moment I became in absolutely every ounce of my being his mother.

It happened on our trip back to Canada from Vietnam. I have been wanting to record that "adventure" so will do that here. As some of you know I was traveling alone and was feeling very nervous about that. I was not worried about the flight part so much but really I was worried about luggage, lines, customs etc. A couple of days before our return flights home, our great agency rep L. came by my hotel room to give me Matteo's Vietnamese passport as well as the final adoption documents. We had a great chat and visit at the end of which she explained what I should expect when I was going through customs both in Vietnam and in Hong Kong etc....these details made me even more nervous as I always feel guilty going through customs....so this added to the other nervousness made for a sort of sleepless night before leaving.

The next morning we headed off to the airport with the courtesy van that the hotel provided for us and the driver was wonderful, helping with the luggage and then making sure to direct me to the next person to help...unfortunately when I got to the Cathay line, it was long, and I had to push both a luggage trolly and a baby carriage and also pick up Matteo occasionally as he got very restless being in the carriage for a long time...it was only when I got close to the front that the agents realized I had a baby and then had me move up to the front of the line. The agents were then quite good to get me processed etc.. We had been waiting over 40 minutes and the drive to the airport was a bit long with all the traffic etc...so I wanted to get to a washroom to refresh and also check Matteo's diaper....I was (wrongly) told that the washrooms were just past the security gate etc...well before being able to get through the security gate, there was another line up and this time I had only a carriage, a crying baby, and my carryon luggage, yet it was trying....people cut in front of me and the line seemed unending and Matteo had to be picked up as everything we had had to be put through the xray screening..

......then we had to walk and walk and walk ...finally I saw a sign that told me that we still had to go through customs...so there again there were other lines...fortunately one of the agents motioned me to go to the front of the line because I had a baby....As I waiting, a feeling rose inside of me that I didn't recognize. I was asked to approach the agent and as L. had told me I gave him the passports required. He looked at Matteo's two passports, said his name out loud, looked at me, looked back at the passports. He looked back at the line, motioned the next person to come forward and had us wait. I was tired, hot, frustrated and picked up Matteo who again was also restless. We waited and watched. I stared at him and my stare was the magic moment when I became Matteo's mother in all ways possible. I felt like a lion protecting her young. My stare said, "you'd better not mess with me, just stamp those passports and let us get on our way home. " While L. did tell me that if they asked that I should show them my adoption documents to account for the fact that I was traveling with a baby that didn't have my last name but in that moment I felt no fear or nervousness only a protective instinct for my son. The agent looked back at me again. I was still holding Matteo and he then looked back at the passports, paused, and then stamped them and handed them to me. I remember feeling strong, sure, and confident. I became Matteo's mother and that feeling has only grown as I have continued to learn about myself as his mother. The rest of our trip was not smooth but no other moment matches that moment in front of Vietnamese customs.

Our international flight, as the fotos below show, had Matteo sleeping soundly in his bassinet for most of the flight (minus of course the many times I had to pick him up and fasten our seat belts), however the last 40 minutes of our descent and the whole trip to Ottawa, Matteo was screaming...I think his ears were probably popping as were mine, and there was nothing I tried that could help him...so that was very very hard. Otherwise Matteo was great and we travelled well together. I definitely brought too much carryon luggage, should have brought premixed formula, and needed only one change of clothes for Matteo and not 3 and fewer diapers!!....so though I usually travel light and with little luggage, learning how to travel with a baby is new. Matteo and I may be getting another chance to travel together later in the spring, this time to Italy, Venice to be exact....hoping the lessons I learned from our first travelling experience will help with the next international trip too!!....

3 month anniversary....

Yesterday February 19 was the 3 month anniversary of when I first met and
held Matteo. You can look back and see my post here

Thank you Georgina for reminding me...things have been busy these days with juggling a few things and just don't seem to paying much attention to days floating by. Tomorrow is family day in Ontario and Matteo and I will spend it together as a family. Have a few things in mind but nothing set just yet. It has been a busy weekend. There were winterlude activities planned with a number of adoption families...will probably only be able to join them for a pot-luck dinner tonight....also the SPA group was having a get together tonight.

Last night instead of the adoption group dinner, we got together for dinner with the godparents for Matteo's baptism and we made the bonboniere to give out as gifts to those attending the baptism...will post photos on that later so it will be a surprise to those attending....They turned out exactly as I had wanted them so was very happy....Things have been going
very well for the most part. I am also on reading week so will enjoy no teaching, no prep, and no marking, and having a few days of stress free living...though of course there is always stress....Matteo wants my attention immediately when he needs something and this is probably the hardest part of caring for him, as he is easy to care for...it is the immediate demands he makes and sometimes it isn't possible as I need to be preparing food, formula, doing laundry and I don't have enough time to do this in the short naps he takes and can't leave it all until after he is asleep for the evening....so at times he has to try to be patient, not easy for him, and not easy for me.

Other than that, I enjoyed looking back at the blog posts and remembering those first few days. I am so glad we are here and not still there in the beginning of our relationship. It does indeed get better and better as you get to know your child's personality and they start to blossom as little individuals....so Happy Anniversary to us. I am posting a photo of the three families who I hung out with. I travelled with Georgina and Mario and they adopted Galen and met him on the same day as I did Matteo. And Lea adopted Zeke, our adoption journey was very similar and we had our G&R together. All of our children are from Vung tau 1....this photo was taken a few days before we left Vung tau for HCMC.....very happy memories!!

CHEO appointment...

This afternoon Matteo and I headed to CHEO for his appointment at the International adoption clinic and 4 hours later we headed home, a very exhausted and asleep Matteo and a very tired mommy. The prognosis at the moment is that Matteo is doing really really well developmentally, is exactly where he should be as a child of 8.5 months and is as normal and even advanced in comparison to a child who was never in an orphanage. The doctor was very impressed and said he is doing great....then she ordered lots and lots of bloodwork!!...so hopefully we'll get those results and they will also show that he is doing great....however he is still on the small side of weight, 5th percentile....so he has been consistent....growing slowly.....so we'll go back in 2 months for the next checkup and will discuss the results and where to go from here medically, if needed.....The nurse who took the blood did really well and only had to poke Matteo twice, one in each arm and she was able to get enough to fill all the vials she pulled out....Matteo on the other hand screamed and cried throughout and then raised his arms to me crying and wanted to get out of there.....hope we won't have to go through that again anytime soon!!

Matteo at bedtime...

Chopsticks....

I was having my lunch (some rice and chickpeas) and was eating with chopsticks while feeding Matteo....he kept reaching for them so I got him a pair and continued to feed him his lunch with chopsticks too....a bit of a challenge to scoop up pureed carrots and rice but we managed and Matteo enjoyed it too...

Chuc Mung Nam Moi! Happy New Year!

The day is coming to a close but the decorations are still up! Happy New year to all and welcome to the year of the cat!...Matteo and I celebrated on Sunday by attending the Vietnamese festival here in Ottawa (photos in the previous blog) held on Matteo's 8 month birthday.

Tonight we went to dinner at the Mekong restaurant with a few of the people from the SPA groups - (single parents adopting).... unfortunately Matteo was not himself today...he had another vaccine yesterday and while he was fine yesterday, today he was not himself, not eating much, sleeping briefly at one moment and then longer the next and not so many smiles today....however as the restaurant was near here and we wanted to do something special we went even if it wasn't for a long time....the restaurant was very nice, as was the company, however Matteo was so good, but I realized it was really not going to work for me to stay and eat my main course...managed the appetizers.....so we asked for it to be wrapped up and said our goodbyes....instead of going straight home I took a bit of a drive...Matteo fell immediately to sleep so I wanted to not disturb him for a bit...then we came home...I put him to bed and then I ate my Tet dinner.

I did manage to read up a bit about how to celebrate Tet and hopefully each year Matteo and I will celebrate and add cultural markers to the event......

This year some decorations were put up....we have somewhat of an altar, as I have a place on one of my buffets where I have photos of my parents and a favourite aunt who have died...and there is a candle there that I light on the anniversary of their deaths...., and in the future I will add some of the Vietnamese cultural elements to what I already have. As for cleaning the house....well that didn't happen, had great intentions, but it seems that is one area I have not been able to keep up on ....so the cleaning will only take place in the near future (I hope!)....I did buy a wonderful Vietnamese cookbook and will work on getting my kitchen well stocked with the appropriate spices....to begin our celebrations, Matteo and I went to the T&T and am posting a photo of their decorations....So for now I hope everyone had a wonderful day and pray once again for everyone waiting for their children, that the year of the cat will bring them all home!!....